|
Copyright © 2002 Grossman Writing Services. All Rights Reserved. |
.
OAKLAND TRIBUNE / ANG Newspapers, December 12, 2001
M-arf!-a Stewart: Weimaraner amuses with her cooking class
By Deborah Grossman CONTRIBUTOR
Want a free
Christmas cooking lesson, in the outdoors, taught by a dog?
Well, before you
say no, picture the Weimaraners made famous by artist William Wegman with their
trademark hang-dog ears, blond wigs, big appetites and a bigger-than-life
penchant for cooking.
These Weimaraner
chefs possess human arms sticking out of their apron-covered dresses, and act as
canine cooking teachers in the kitchen scene of the ``Night Before
Christmas" window series outside Sak's Fifth Avenue on Powell Street in San
Francisco.
The five-minute
video is displayed on a TV mounted above a mock sink and stove in the
holiday-decorated window display. The grownups in the crowd laugh at the holiday
doggie spoof of Martha Stewart, but the kids have another perspective.
``How do they do
that?" wonders 7-year-old Sam Brigham or Los Altos, mesmerized by the
video.
Sam's big sister
Julie, 10, figures it out. ``It's so funny! They stick a person under the
clothes and they pull the dog's head through a hole in the dress," she
says.
Day and night,
crowds gather to watch these fanciful chefs teach while strains of `` 'Twas the
Night before Christmas" fill the air. This is the third year for Sak's
Fifth Avenue's annual holiday art project, which showcases contemporary art.
The doggie Marthas
silently demonstrate geometric shapes while cutting cookie dough into squares,
triangles and circles.
The next scene
draws giggles from young and old alike: The teacher's hands attempt to apply
green and red icing to the cookies while the Weimaraner's tongue hungrily licks
it off.
But the piece de
resistance is the fruitcake lesson. The human arms grab and place three limes,
three bananas, three kiwis and three oranges into a big stainless steel mixing
bowl while big, white numbers flash Sesame Street-style across the screen. The
arms add raisins, nuts, and sift ``some" flour.
And just like a
Food Network production, the completed bowl is thrust towards the camera. The
instructor, long snout splattered with flour, pours the batter into three loaf
pans.
Next, the arms mix
another bowl of batter for another cake while the Weimaraner licks the edges of
the bowl, just like people would like to do. Then the dog licks the beaters,
just like many people actually do.
For a dash of
nostalgia, the class concludes with a lesson in popping corn the old-fashioned
way, in a sturdy saucepan. The lesson here is on counting to seven, as the arms
pick out one piece of popcorn at a time and place it on the table. But getting
to seven requires a lot of work - this is one popcorn-loving doggie.
So what's the main
lesson from this crossbreed class?